The Truth

Friends think that i can't talk to you,

Because i like you too much,

But i know the truth,

It's all because of me,

I don't want to hurt you,

I've seen my family broken,

Time and again,

Due to faulty relationships,

And i don't want to feel that pain,

You're the first gal,

That i ever shielded away,

Trying my hardest not to hurt you,

That would hurt me too,

Other gals,

They never had this affect,

I don't want you close to me,

Cause then you'd realize how broken i really am,

What if you don't like the real me?

I don't want you to meet the broken parts,

But that's all i have to give,

I'm sorry in advance,

If i'll ever hurt you,

But i need a friend,

And you're the last one left...

This was something I wrote before we got closer enough to share things. But my pretentions were fake... She grew fond of me as she came nearer... I hope that this pretentions even will be wrong.

I Will Continue To Love.. Even If You Say You are Not Mine

Never ask me why I was not the way I was again. Its you who gets hurt everytime. Hurting you hurts me back with more intensity. I am broke... I am not good but the Bad Guy whom you could ever had met. Its just lie that I love you, the truth is just that I CAN'T LOVE anyone in my whole life... I have also stopped Dreaming as the dreams are the worst part of my life that had hurted me... I have even stopped believing myself... I dunn believe myself as earlier used to believe. I am not meant to be for you... Its just that you are so sweet and good that you deserve the best in life... Not the one who is already sitting after putting his guards off... Today was the last day that you listened the word I Love You last time from me. I won't use this word ever in my life... Hope that cures everything, atleast not in my life but in yours... Can't see you hurted always. Moreover I cried enough yesterday, when you said straight from your heart ... I should stop expecting everything from you. Why should ME? Why...? I know why... Coz am the one who will never get anything that I will ever want in life. SORRY... Five letters composed a word.. Word big enough to prove all things small. Its Okay!! I can live without everyone in my life. I don't anyone with me... Now not even you... I am Sorry but thats truth.

I was going through some of the love stories. Found one good...
Posting it here just coz I liked it...

A boy asked a girl if she thought he was handsome,
She said... no.
He asked her if she would want to be with him forever...and she said no.

He then asked her if he were to leave would she cry, and once again she replied with a no.

He had heard enough. As he walked away, tears streaming down his face the girl grabbed his arm and said....

You are not handsome, You are beautiful.
I don't want to be with you forever, I NEED to be with you forever.

And I wouldn't cry if you walked away... I'd die...

******* Here I Go... With My New One

Its feelings from my heart
Which I need to write
Worded tokens I convey
But in love and light

Words written in sincerity
With continuous flow
Hoping to keep in touch
The only way I know

Each poem of love written
I send on over to you
As we are oceans apart
This is all I could do

As with every word I write
The feelings are true
Love flows continuously
In heartprints for you

It's those empty notes
My heart now sings
My loneliness is now
Upon broken wings

My dreams are left
Without light to guide them
Could this be the end of
My heart taking flight
Without you in my sight

Meaning I could no longer
Soar as my wings have
Fallen in your silence
And this silence is breaking
My heart in two

For my heart cannot fly
When love does not flow
And upon my broken wings
All while in the absence of
You my heartache grows...

When dawning hour approaches
as ocean rushes to shore
On dying breath I whisper
"I love thee" drifting into Heaven's door.

I Cant Be The Same.. Even Though How Much Hard I Try...!!!

I have tried my real hard to be as I was before but I failed...!! It will be really difficult for me to now love someone in my life... to really make someone part of my life... I am really S.O.R.R.Y.

Our relationship has never been perfect
But our love has always been true
Thats why no matter what
Obstacles life throws us
I will never give up on you

We have been through some difficult times
That now remain in the past
It's what happens from here on out that counts
But it will take both of us to make it last.

You have done some hurtful things to me
And I have done the same
And yet here we are hand in hand
Contemplating all the joys that we behold
In all our future days

Regardless of all the tears I have shed
And the pain we have both felt
It's you and only you that can make me smile
And its you that knows how
To erase a frown from my face
And these are the memories
I'll cherish even after I die.

You have truly changed my life
In ways you can only imagine
God brought you into my life at the perfect time
And you have made my life complete
And I hope I have completed yours too...

This compilation was written just 4 days back... Holds nothing but my broken dreams that are shattered to that many pieces that now it hurts to put them back in picture...

*Broken Hearts Would Have Mend By God... Only If He Knew Where Exactly Each Piece Fits In*

Good Bye...!!

Never thought that this day would come in my life... Today am writing my last post... My last as am lost... Am lost somewhere deep in my thoughts... though the things are coming up but now I want some break... Broken I am asking for break from worldly things... I loved you, thought I could anytime convey.. I could tell you how much you mean to me but its alright... Things have to be dis way... Guys in my last post I'll write nothing but the piece I wrote last night sitting besides her... just next to her seat. I was sitting there and seeing things changing way to fast. Nothing was in my hand or I could have hold it for last... I know I am BAD... I know... I don't deserve anyone in my life or atleast I don't deserve her as she is very good. She deserves someone really very good who can take care of her... I will try to convince myself and the next post you will see when I'll be convinced.. Here it goes what I wrote yesterday night, the night which seemed very short. The night which I wished would never last but it did at last... Here I go with this -

Didnt remember the last

time I had heartful laugh

Things manipulated

You never saw me squall

You went away from my life

Tearing apart me in pieces

I was like this when I met you

I hoped time will come when it ceases

Oh Lord! Jesus! Stop the time

Let me run back to catch what is left

Lost my life! somewhere back

Who will mend my heart's cleft!!

I know the blame was mine

I was totally engrossed with things

Couldn't see how fast it happened

Now seems someone chopped my wings

Wish everything goes back

Cant I get a chance to prove things right ?

Am I so bad, that it won't be done

I just wished mine & yours future bright...

It never occured to me

the things were such

as they were supposed to be

Nothing distorted much

But then there was one thing

that was not alright

I am a BAD guy

And people pertained me right!

Yes, I was BAAAD !!!

and still I am

the same guy

I bet and I swan!

I was bad because

For me you were precious

I didn't wanted to lost you

For I was treacherous

I was bad because

I loved you for who you are

But instead, you,

Always thought am a Mar!!

You snatched away from me

the most happiest thing in my life

Alone I stand in midway

Didn't knew alone I have to strife!

I always loved you with my heart

I always thought that we would last

Last all the things that will creep

In our life, with a blast!!

But the blast that had to happen

Had teared me apart

Broken as I stood !

Broken I stand!

Holding blood-poured-out-of my heart!!

I knew it never mattered

though you always cared

and it will even not matter

You always had friendship layered!

Tears come willing to cheeks

But somehow I manage

To hold them rolling to floor

Cuz they're hard enough for damage

Broken hearts doesnt easily mends

Never will the same happen

Though wishing you be mine

Is wishing drop in Deccan

Exaggerating my pain

Never occured to me

Its what I went through

Alone I stand as she left me

Your inhibitions were there

Your permissions were there

But you didn't cared enough

Was it even fair...

Am going back..

I don't have courage to stand

Stand back again everytime..

To fall back again..

You gave me what you could

No grudges are left...ahem...

Thank you for the loveliest days

I hope I'll pass my days with them...

Bye Friends.. AstaLavista !