Dormant Shall I Remain ??

Chances are you'll see her
when you close your eyes tonight.
You know she'll always be there,
with love, to hold you tight.

You'll hear her when she whispers
sweet dreams, and she declares,
that you're the only one for her,
no other could compare.

You'll know how much she needs you
when you taste her eager kiss.
True love so undeniable,
now burns upon her lips.

You'll feel it when she touches you,
when hearts and souls enmesh.
You'll melt in red hot passion,
from the fire of flesh on flesh.

Yes, chances are you'll see her,
behind those jaded eyes.
She's nestled in the shadows,
of a love that never dies.

But there are just chances
Reality is that ...

She’ll never love you
Atleast in this life
Coz as per her you are
Not the person she thought you’d be might.

She’ll never cuddle you
the way you dreamt
Coz it wasn’t her wish
You need to leapt

She’ll neva touch you
As you always wished
Coz you thought that
She would have also kissed!

But its not possible
Alteast not this day
Coz she has something important
in her life upfront to be laid

I know the pain
I know it increases
Let it be there to
crimple your heart in creases

Doesn’t matters as she was
Not there when you need her most
When you desired for her most
But the Golden Opportunity was it
that she has LOST!
Looser was not you
Looser can’t be you
There was nothing you lost
But just got a nice clue

Clue that this world is like this
the one whom you think are near
Are the one’s who’d hissed
and torn you apart and left you in tears...

Possibilities are still there,
She could come again
But will I be justified
To give her my heart to play with it again!!!

Confusion is the thing that arise
In all these confusions, I shall die
My heart bound with love – says Yes
My consciousness denies saying nary a single night...

Still I move, Still I love you
Can’t remember single moment
When I didn’t do!
But now can’t go any longer
then just to remain Dormant!!!

I Still Continue To Love You... But I Fear...

Beautifully broken comes from a song
images of a life full
of things gone wrong.

Broken implies something useless and
old,
no longer wanted, tarnished and cold.

But that's not the
image of her that I see,
not the image of her she's revealed to
me.

Yes, I understand the pieces of pain,
senseless events with
nothing to gain.

Every event that comes from her past
is just
like a piece of crooked edged glass.

Each single piece could be
happy or sad,
could mean something joyful or terribly bad.

But,
each little piece is personally unique
like the marks that are found on a
precious antique.

Breaks and marks that show she's alive
from
the good and bad things she had to survive.

So, like a window of
beautiful stained glass
kaleidoscope colors reflecting her
past.

The pieces all join in the image I see
of a sweet lovely
woman so amazing to me.

Ah!!! It was a Day....

Now that she has left... Left even wido saying a word, single word. I can't tell you what should I say or write... Just two days before everything was right... We were like happy ever but then I don't know what did hurt her, in my ignorance what did I said... Dunn remember anything... This piece of Best Suited us just two days before but now, it seems wasteful..........

Our relationship has never been perfect
But our love has
always been true
Thats why no matter what
Obstacles life throws us
I
will never give up on you.

We've been through some difficult times
That now remain in the past
It's what happens from here on out that
counts
But it will take both of us to make it last.

You have done
some hurtful things to me
And I have done the same
And yet here we are
hand in hand
Contemplating all the joys that we behold
In all our future
days.

Regardless of all the tears I have shed
And the pain we have
both felt
It's you and only you that can make me smile
And its you that
knows how
To erase a frown from my face
And these are the memories
I'll cherish even after I die.

You have truly changed my life
In
ways you can only imagine
God brought you into my life at the perfect time
And you have made my life complete
And I hope I have completed yours
too.

Regrets...!!!

Today my heart is heavy,
as I bow my head in shame,
I
search for easy answers,
or someone that I can blame.

The salty
teardrops trickle
down my worn and tired face,
symbolic of what my life
has been,
a sad and lonely place.

I close my eyes and
ponder,
will I ever be free,
will I ever learn to love someone,
will
they like the me they see?

How could I not love her;
why was I
afraid?
Why did I condemn her,
for mistakes that others
made?

The tears they seem endless,
my life flashes before my
eyes,
How much longer must I carry,
the weight of this
disguise.

I close my eyes and ponder,
will I ever be
free,
will I ever learn to love someone,
will they like the me they
see?

Will there ever be true happiness
for someone just like
me?

I just remembered this video... One of my favorite ones'

It was a lovely day today,

Woke up to rejuvenate

Felt stomach burn with chafe

Whole of my soul excoriate

She was my life, my love

How could she ?

The only one whom I trusted

Left...

I am alone, Should I be ?

Yes, ofcourse, as I am fern,

As a human being

I continuously learn

And I started keying...

Being active or passive

Being lonely or lonesome

Was not a curse

But a boon to one

However...

When found her

The desires doubled

I also felt as everyone

I could be cuddled

The dreams were shattered

and hopes battered

I opened up my eyes

to find nothing had happened

It was a mere joke

The joke of the fate

Right from childhood

Its only thing I hate

I can see, she was drifting

Drifting apart from me

Going away to the place

Where she'll be happy

Wanted to stop her!

Wanted to say - Dunno Go!

But can't, as

I respect her and before her I bow.

May be sooner or later

She'll knew, she'll realize

She'll be back, but I wonder

till then will I be bounder with entice ??

Apologias!!!

You never told me how you felt
How deep your feelings ran
I’m sorry I was blind to see
What was there for me to hold?

My heart aches for how I hurt you
The insensitivity that I showed
Please know I never meant it
I simply did not know

I am not a perfect being
As a person, I make mistakes
But know that I love you
It grows more each passing day

Let’s put the past behind us
Learn how to trust again
For your heart I do not want to break
But embrace for days to come

I want to see this new love grow
Into something more than I can imagine
Please find it in your heart to forgive
These past things that once took place

I am awed that you have chosen me
To share this time in your life
I promise to give you all I have
For a chance to love again

Its not easy to be going..!!!

Kwel... I started writing down the first page of my book to be published. But it isn't that easy I swear. The story plot, the characters, the vividity and the binding power, everything has to be there but still am on track. I hoped that it will be completed this year but now I think it will take years to complete. Still am there, collecting all pieces. People just suggested me write down and I started. Many times I think this ain't be so easy but as I start up and start gathering the second heat, I realize it was so easy as playing basketball or baseball, its quite an easy but just requires some energy, enthusiasm and after all, the friends I have got, who always motivates me to do something different, something bigger. Thanks all of you for inspiring me. I'll soon post a write up on all of you. I am in mid way to do that...!!

You were alwz there whenever I needed you
and I'll be always there for you,
Whosoeva complains of time,
I am with you too...

But just in case you regret and think,
of not good choice you made,
just look into the heart of soul,
you will find anoda you....

It was one day that I sat down,
to compile the best things we have done,
the best thing occurred to us,
and then I realized nothing is best,
Its only things gets better as we do...

Today even whenvr I think of the time
the time we were together,
Jolly, Joy, Fun altogther,
Tears rolls down my eyes with happiness,
Or sadness when I look around,
and never find you...

Though physical bounded we seperate
But in my heart you always remain
One day we'll be with each other again
Sharing the old laughter days
And that day I'll say...
I have found a great F.R.I.E.N.D. in you...

Bye the way.. the title of my book to be
published will be "Everyone Who Loves, Not Just One!!!"

I love you with all of my heart
With a love I just can't control
Its a feeling thats not just a bond of our hearts
Its more like a bond of our souls
To hold your hand is not just a sweet jesture
Its a connection of my life to you
To kiss your lips is simply perfection
Its all my lips want to do
To tell you I love you is not to speak mere words
Its my heart screaming out from within
Put your ear over my heart and listen
It wants to tell you over and over again
I love you I love you I love you

I just want to say I love you
Just wanna show I care
but, I hold out, for another breath
and I am drowning in these tears!!

No one said love would
Ever hurt this much!
Never thought that
someone else would care!
but you see through it all
to who I am in here
still, you say you love me
Standing beside in time and Fear

You make me want
To love myself...
(forgive me, but I forgot this line)
And see the things you see
I KNOW I'll Never be enough
But so much you are to me!

Its My Birthday Approaching... And I am Waiting !!

I WANT TO CLOSE MY EYES

CLOSE MY EYES AND DREAM

DREAM OF RAINBOWS AND ELFS

DREAM OF THE DAYS OF LOVE

THE DAYS OF HAPPINESS

ONE ILL NEVER SEE..

I WANT TO CLOSE MY EYES

CLOSE MY EYES AND LET GO

LET GO OF MY BROKEN HEART

A HEART MEANT TO LOVE

TO LOVE ALL THAT IS BEUTIFUL

I WANT TO CLOSE MY EYES

CLOSE EYES MINUTE FOR A MINUTE

A MINUTE WITH OUT PAIN

ME WHO IS SIMPLY TIRED

CLOSE MY EYS AND SLEEP!

I AM TIRED RIGHT NOW,

I WANT TO SLEEP SO BADLY

AND PRETEND THAT

TODAY NEVER HAPPENED...

ITS MY BIRTHDAY APPROACHING

A DAY WHERE I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL

I AM ALIVE HAPPY TO EXIST,

WHICH I AM ...BUT

WHEN I MAKE STUPID DECISIONS

THAT MAKE ME CRY...

I WONDER WHERE MY HEAD IS...

MAY BE ITS TOO TIRED

AND IT MADE A DECISION

WITHOUT REST...

I SHOULD CLOSE MY EYES

MAY BE TOMORROW

MY HEAD WILL BE CLEAR..

COME WHAT MAY, GOTTA LET GO

A NEW BEGGINING THAT STARTS WITH THE END

I CANT DO THIS NO LONGER, HELD ON FOR LONG

WAITED FOR HER LOVE, WAITED TO HEAR FROM HER

SOMEDAY WILL MEET AGAIN, SOMEDAY SHE'LL LOVE ME

BUT COME THE NEW START, MY B'DAY,

ITS FRIENDSHIP ILL KEEP

ITS LOVE IM GIVING UP.

WHEN THE CLOCK WILL STRIKE 12

TEARS WILL FALL SLOWLY DOWN MY HEART,

DREAMS WIL FADE,ILLUSIONS WILL DISOLVE.

I JUST CANT GO ON LIKE THIS

I NEED MORE THAN JUST HUGGS,

I NEED HER KISSES, HER LOVE,

ILL MISS HER, I WONT FORGET THE FUN.

IT WILL BE 11:55 PM, ALMOST THERE

COME WHAT MAY, ILL LET GO OF THIS LOVE FOR HER

A NEW BEGGING WILL START IN,

SHE'LL ALWAYS HAVE MY HEART...

AT 12 NO MORE LOVE JUST FRIENDSHIP.

Time Clicks as I await
The hour ends before my take
Sitting, thinking, waiting; my mind escapes

The day grows old as night passes
Wolves crying, coyotes howling; anticipating
Watching, staring, seeing -- nothing

Silence begins the day
as morning comes without notice
Tears begin to fall, slowly

The day moves on without hope
Wishing to be what is not to be

The sun moves to its peak
without a whisper or retreat

Time moving, but still empty
Stomach aching, curling
Still waiting

I still remember the time
I still remember the same
We are friends and can't go ahead
But dunno why my heart aching for change...

I hate the way you treated me
I hate what you did to me

When you laughed at what I asked
When you weren't there when I passed

I loved you more than anything
I loved that you thought the same thing

You made me feel like I was in heaven
You now have me seeking a safe haven

You Are My Angel...

My sweet beautiful angel.

Sent to me from above.

I am so grateful to have found you,

and I give you all my love.

You must have come from heaven,

because you have pretty little angel eyes.

When you gaze at me with them,

my heart begins to fly.

Your sweet angelic voice,

continuously rings in my ears.

With you by my side,

there is nothing I fear.

Whenever we are together,

You shine with a heavenly glow.

Your beautiful angel face,

raises me up from feeling low.

Yes, heaven is missing an angel,

because you are here with me.

You're my sweet, beautiful angel,

and I'll love you for eternity!

But suddenly I realised..

It wasn't that was approved

and then all was gone...

With me standing in a groove...

Wasting a lifetime

Trying to find love

Nothing happens

No hope, no girl

Suddenly see her

But sometime before

Can't do anything

Used to be friends, nothing more

Now realized affection

Can go no further

Lost a lifetime

And lost desire

Try to forget

But can't

Try to die

But don't

Mind suddenly gone

No end is near

Nothing to do now

But go onGo on...

ehmm but how

No forward no back down

Looking here and there

And then I suddenly slowed down

Offended!!!

I think I love you
Even tho u don't
I think im braiking
With every word ur saying
I think im hurting
More then ull ever kno
I think im faking
Every smile I put on
I think Im falling
As u just walk by
My heart is hoping
On a hopeless cause
And I kno im waiting
But ull never come
I think im hating
NO1 but myself
But I keep on living
To save a life
So wen I sit alone
I shut my eyes and scream
Scream to get rid of this pain
I shut my eyes and dream
Of everything I thought we had
I shut my eyes and bleed
From the inside out
And as I watch the one
The I have always loved
Love some1 else
I feel tha pain
As my heart rips apart
I want to run
But my legs wont work
I want to fly
But I kno I cant even try
The heart of the lovely one
Is the one who feels
What the world can never steel
It hurts inside
But its hiddin so tight
Shoved away
Till the next day
And its hurts so much
To give all that u have
And have it shuved back in ur face
Its smothering me
I can not breath
And all I ever wanted was for u to love me
But did she ever even like me
I would have loved u forever
Till I withered away
I would have stayed by ur side
Untill the day I died
But funny how the world goes
And now u love the one who does
Only think about now
Does he even care
How can u brake my heart
And give me all the reasons to hate u
But I don't
And yet I stand here
Not even a sound
I watch you walk away
With nothing to say

Forever Love...

When is it time to say goodbye,
To all the love I've known,
When is it time to end your pain,
And leave me all alone?

I've watched you on your good days when
I feel your strength renewed;
But shortly after little ups,
The down days then ensue.

We ride this roller-coaster of
Emotions as we try,
To make it through another day,
And yet, I can't deny ...

That as I look into your face
On days that have been bad,
I see a look that beckons me
It's tired, and hurt, and sad.

The little spark I used to see
Behind those loving eyes,
Is growing ever clouded
By life's cruel inhumane side.

I try to see beyond the pain
You feel with every step;
And softly whisper to myself
This may get better yet.

If I can bear to watch you
Just another day or two;
I justify my reasons to
Ensure I cling to you.

For letting go is harder for
The person left behind;
It means that if I let you go,
I cannot turn back time.

Back to the days I long for now,
When you were full of life;
And every day held promise,
And our futures, clear and bright.

But now the lights are darkening ...
We take it daily now;
I cannot see our futures clear
Or think beyond this cloud.

I think the hardest part in this
Is never knowing why,
I have to be courageous
And I have to say goodbye.

For if I let myself admit
It's time to let you go;
I'd have to face reality
Without you ... but I know ...

That soon I have to face the
Final outcome that I dread,
And holding on will only serve
To hurt you in the end.

You've given such unselfish love
For all our time in life,
But if I hold too tightly,
You'll not move t'ward the light ...

On to a better life, where you
Can once again be free,
Of all the pain and discomfort
That holds you here to me.

So if I find the courage just to say
This last farewell,
I hope you will forgive me for
The time it took me; still ...

I'll hold with me, the memories
That in my heart remain,
Pray one day, down the road a'ways
... They'll lesson my own pain.

Hey everyone...!! Starting with the first post was not so easy. Though have made many blogs till now but those were professional. This is my first personal blog. And for this I'll like to thank Khushboo for inspiring me to start with this. I'll post some of the Creations here which were best and I liked them. They are something in life which tells you something. As for me, these are my inner soul. These are the things which came out when I was out of my mind, when they controlled me. I spoke to them, I wrote them... Long stuff but yeah it was good!!!